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Apparently I have no willpower

October 8, 2011 by Jess MillionMoments

None.  I thought I did, but no.  Remember that post a few weeks ago that was loaded with optimism about getting back in shape?  Ha.  I’m laughing at myself to keep from crying at how weak I am.  I guess I wasn’t prepared to actually  resist temptation because I’ve never had to think about my weight before, let alone watch what I ate.  But I do now.  And I failed.    
Everything was going really well at first.  I went a whole seven days without so much as a bite of a cookie.  I felt great.  I was eating healthy again, I felt like I had more energy, and when I woke up I didn’t feel like I had been hit by a truck in my sleep.
Then I had a bad day.  I mean, one of those terrible days where nothing seems to go right.  My husband (who had no idea the hell he was about to unleash) decided to surprise me with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter Cup ice cream to cheer me up.  OMG!  First I totally flipped out on him, yelling things like “why would you bring that here?” and “do you really want to torture me” and even “it’s your fault it I end up 300 pounds”.  Then I scarfed down the whole container.
I was so upset.  My poor husband just wanted to make me feel better, and instead he got yelled at by a crazy hungry monsterous version of me.
After that it was all down hill.  The next day I saw some cupcakes in the store that I had to have.  And when someone brought me a cheesecake?  I ate that too.  I couldn’t say no. It is like that whole week of doing good never happened.  I still mean to hit my goal, but I have to rework my plan because I realize that I might not have been going about this the right way.  It’s not about total avoidance, because then I’ll freak out every time I see something I can’t have.  It’s about learning how to resist the bad food around me.  If I can look at it every day and say no, even when It would be so easy just to grab a spoon and dig in, then I’ll be on the right path.  

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Meet Jess

Jess is a mom of two, and the writer, photographer, and creative mind behind A Million Moments. She loves vegetarian cooking, and making things with her hands. To learn more about Jess, click here →

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